Cell Phone vs. the Bible

What would happen if we treated our Bible

like we treat our cellphone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several times a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to think about. Where is my Bible?

Where are my priorities??

Unlike our cell phone,

we don't have to worry about our Bible being

disconnected

because Jesus already paid the bill...

And NO DROPPED CALLS!

*Found this on a church website, but author is unknown!

Sunshiny days...

Just wanted to log on and write a little note. I actually have like at least a half-dozen things I'd like to blog about...and probably will yet! But between work, loving on my little "Korean kiddos" that I live with, and helping out with famiLEE life, or working on ministry projects, I have been soooooo busy, I haven't had time to write much lately. Right now my big push is getting ready for year two of ARME BIBLE CAMP!! We had so many amazing miracles and blessings last year, I can't wait to see what God has in store for us this year.

Still loving Oregon to the fullest. Spring here is beautiful!! It rains, it snows, it hails (Yep, just last week - it hailed so hard it covered the ground and looked like SNOW!) And still the sun shines!! You never know exactly what kind of day it will be...and it could change any second. It's definitely an adventure like I've never had before. But it's an adventure I am loving to the fullest.

I still don't know exactly what all God has in store for me up here in the Northwest, but He is growing me and stretching me in ways that are building my life and character, and I'm thankful for what I've been learning. New lessons every day!! And His mercies are new every morning...

Have some exciting plans for the summer...but for now, we'll keep you "wondering" what those are! Stay tuned for more updates & Melodious inspirations to come soooooooon!!!

"ARMe BIBLE CAMP" - Arming People with the Word of God!

This is the promo for our upcoming ARMe Bible Camps we are hosting this summer! One will be here in Oregon and the other in Central California. We are a almost a month away, and already have a large group registered. Can't wait to see what God is going to do THIS TIME!!!

NOTE: Before you play this YouTube, scroll to the very bottom of this blog page and push "PAUSE" on my music playlist. Otherwise, you wont hear the audio on this YouTube properly! :-)

A New Kind of Prayer...

The view out my bedroom window ~ Spring in Oregon

My Korean "abba" (father) reminded us at worship the other day about how we usually pray and how we should pray...VERY PROFOUND. Let me paraphrase his words...

Way One - the Usual way: It's like this....We have a huge sheet of paper with all our requests, wishes, wants, desires, needs, dreams and (etc etc) written on it...and we hand it up to God. "Please God, will you give me your signature on this paper! That's all I'm asking...just your endorsement and approval of my list."

Way Two - the Best Way: In reality, prayer should be....We have a blank sheet of paper, and at the bottom we sign our signature. Then we hand it up to God. "Whatever you want to put on this paper God, whatever it is that you think I need or that would be best for me and my life, I gladly accept. Not my will but thine be done!"

Wow - what a difference, huh?!

Kinda back to that old "Give God the Pen" thing that Eric and Leslie have always talked about. "Just give God the pen, and let Him write your life story & your love story, and everything else in your life, in His way! And it will be better than anything you could have wished up or dreamed on your own..."

But wow, sometimes, it's just not easy to give God the pen & a blank sheet of paper, is it?! After all, He could write ANYTHING...

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isa 55:8,9

Reflections on the Lord's Prayer - Is it really ours?

I was visiting some friends a few years ago who had the tradition of repeating the "Ten Commandments" every evening during family worship. They also had the tradition of reciting the "Lord's Prayer" every morning during prayer time at worship. They knew both by heart, (I guess you would if you repeated it every day) and the children seemed to rush through the words breathlessly, as if trying to see who could reach the finish line first. "Do they even think about the words? Do they hear what they are saying?" I often wondered.

Just today, I was reading through the Lord's prayer myself again. Not that I have to read it...I too know it by heart. But is it just something I can smile and whisper to God? Do I really understand the profound depth behind the simple childlike faith and words? Or is my life a mockery to this prayer? Honestly, I haven't thought about it in depth for awhile. But with just a few moments of un-hurried meditation, I am reminded of the rich blessings God has in store for those who really mean...not just pray, this prayer!

Let's look at it again...

"Our Father which art in Heaven..." WOW!!!! Do we think about what this amazing statement means?? It's not... "Our Father which ignores us half the time and doesn't take care of us" or "Our Father which owns the bank down town and buys us fancy toys." It's not even, our "Our Father which is the President of this country, and can tell everyone else what to do!" It's "Our Father which ART (or is) in Heaven!" Just think of it...our FATHER is KING and RULER of ALL!!!! There's no daddy, no authority, no provider, no caregiver, no presence more big and important, and omnipotent than His! He RULES the Heaven's...." Our planet called "Earth" is just a pinprick when you consider the scope of the universe. And yet...God cares soooo much about us, He's asked us to call Him "Father."

Check out this link: "The Heaven's Declare" to gain some scope on the size of our "Our father who art in Heaven."

When we realize the significance of WHO our father is, it's only natural that we will most reverently lovingly, respectful, "Hallow" his name, right? But how do we "Hallow" his name? Well, first off..."Hallowed" in essence means, to be separate from sin, from the profane, from the unclean. So in other words, it could mean that as we latch on to the title of "Our Father," the response of our love and grateful adoration for what He is to us, makes us loath sin and the evil ruler of this world. Thus we allow Him to cleanse us from all that profanes, defiles or separates us from Him. In this heart surrender, we have "Hallowed His name."

"Thy Kingdom Come..." we pray. "Thy will be done in earth as it is in Heaven." This one is really heavy if we seriously think about it. For if we really wanted His kingdom to come, if we really were in earnest about His will being done here AS IT IS DONE in Heaven, every breath and molecule of atomic energy in our being would be directed towards this cause. In Heaven his angelic host rush to do his bidding. But we thinking we are doing "his will" while we are going about being busy with our lives, our hobbies, our interest, our families, our comfort, our friends, our ministries...but is this really following His will as it is in Heaven? Furthermore, have we seen enough, sacrificed enough, and felt enough suffering and pain and persecution for Him that we yearn with every fiber of our being for His Kingdom to come? Or are we rather comfortable, thankful for the blessings He has provided, and enjoying the wait for His return?? Remember those both from years past and present who knew what it meant to give all to follow God's and tell others about Him, and you'll found those that can pray - "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done (through me) even as it is done in Heaven."

We pray, "Give us this day our daily bread" and He has! In fact, He's given us more than our daily bread...we are stuffed and overly plump by all the bread we've eaten (physically and spiritually) yet if we are not careful, we can become obese and unfit for spiritual use. Here in America we have so much food, and so many spiritual resources, we have grown lazy and lax. "Oh father, forgive us!" If we only knew the price for the bread we have enjoyed, and how soon it will be taken from us...we would live much differently...

"Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." Wow - this could be painful if God honored this prayer. "Ummmm....you see....I have this grudge toward my mom. She really hurt me a long time ago by something she said, and every now and then she use to hit me when she was angry. There is no way I'm gonna let her forget that." Can you just imagine God.... "Ummmmm, Melody....there's this thing you said a long time ago about me that really hurt....in fact, a couple things, no wait....a bunch of things, or maybe a few million things...oh yeah, and you didn't just say bad things, but you did bad things too...you still do...ummm lots of bad things....there's no way I can let you off the hook for all that. There's just like, no way! I'm not gonna ever let you forget all that!" Ugh! Yep, if God truly forgives us as we have the tendency to forgive our debtors...umm....that's not a very good! We need to learn to be better forgivers like God. As Corrie Ten Boom once said, "He cast all our sins into the depths of the sea (Mic 7:19) and then puts up a sign, "NO FISHING ALLOWED."

"Lead us not into temptation" we pray...and God doesn't. The problem is, we lead Him, and then expect Him to dig us out! "Ummm God, I know I shouldn't be here...but I just came anyway...and now I need help, I don't know what to do! I've made a big mess!" And God's like, "I didn't lead you there....I told you not to go...I answered your prayer...but you went into trouble anyway! What were you thinking?" We obviously weren't thinking about God, were we?

"Deliver us from evil!" we pray - and again, He will and He does constantly, in more ways than we can imagine. As one author writes, "If we only knew the things God saves us from, the power of the enemy that he keeps at bay, we would shudder to see how close we have often walked to disaster and death and yet unknowingly and glibly passed by and gone on our way." But we still have free choice too, don't we? And if we are gonna be safe, we have to STAY CLOSE to Him. If we go out on our own, sooner if not later, evil will find us every time! How unfortunate, this is such a difficult lesson to learn.

And finally we pray... "For thine is the Kingdom, the power, the Glory forever..." but sometimes I wonder... Who really sits on our throne?? Is it really all for His Kingdom, His power and His glory...or for mine??

Wow - what a powerful prayer!! Wouldn't you agree?? And yet I'm sure, we've only just skimmed the surface...

Brighten the Corner where you are...

Most of the time, I just feel like I'm isolated in my own little corner of the planet...just doing what I love to do, loving God and those around me, and yet feeling like I'm not really connecting in a deep way with the world at large.

Sure, I have friends, I am involved in Ministry, I write, I e-mail - LOTS...and I see people every day at home or when I work. But again...I often feel alone in my own little corner...not interacting with hardly anyone it seems beyond a 10 foot radius, and buried and busy in living life in this fast paced "Modern Martha" world. (See entry below!)

But sometimes I forget, that even though I may not feel like I see or interact with lots of people daily, and sometimes I wonder if I'm really making a difference for God...yet somehow, sometimes, people see and are watching you...

A couple months ago I had the shock of my life when I went to work one morning at the hospital.

I was innocently making my rounds, opening charts, taking notes, checking vitals, and making sure my patients were all alive and ready for the day with their new nurse. While looking through one chart, I looked up to see a stranger walking by. I smiled at her, then started to turn back to my chart, but the expression of recognition and surprise on her face held my gaze. My mind reeled, "Do I know this girl? Why is she looking at me with such a gaze, as if she's seen a long lost friend or something? I don't ever remember seeing her before..." I smiled again... "Goodmorning, do I know you?" I queried. She slowly came to my side to give me a hug as she exclaimed, "Melodious Echo...I can't believe it's you!" I allowed the hug, but was still confused and perplexed. "Ummm....I don't remember you...." I said again. She smiled as she burst forth with enthusiasm! "Your blog, I've been reading your blog for awhile now!!!! It has been SUCH a blessing to me...I just can't believe I'm meeting you here in the very hospital where I work. This is amazing..." And on she gushed. Now I was in shock.... "You read my blog?" I asked in surprise....

So the story came out...she had been living back in the midwest, about a year ago, and was struggling with some things in her life and happened to be surfing the Internet one night when she accidently stumbled across my blog. She shared that it had been so inspiring to her (I was just in awe listening to her story) that she has been reading it ever since! Wow - what a shock!! Here I was just minding my own business, in my own little corner, and writing about the experiences in my life (mostly for my family and friends, and because I like to write) yet a complete stranger was being blessed...All I can say is, "Praise the Lord."

I'm reminded of the old favorite childhood song - "Brighten the Corner where you are!"

1. Do not wait until some deed of greatness you may do,
   Do not wait to shed your light afar;
   To the many duties ever near you now be true,
   Brighten the corner where you are.
2. 
   
3. Refrain:
4. Brighten the corner where you are!
5. Brighten the corner where you are!
6. Someone far from harbor you may guide across the bar;
7. Brighten the corner where you are!
8. Just above are clouded skies that you may help to clear,
   Let not narrow self your way debar;
   Though into one heart alone may fall your song of cheer,
   Brighten the corner where you are.
9. Refrain:
   Brighten the corner where you are!
   Brighten the corner where you are!
   Someone far from harbor you may guide across the bar;
   Brighten the corner where you are!
10. Here for all your talent you may surely find a need,
    Here reflect the bright and Morning Star;
    Even from your humble hand the Bread of Life may feed,
    Brighten the corner where you are.

Get off the computer and write a REAL letter...

When I was young, I use to have lots of pen-pals...I mean, like serious pen-pals. I think at age 11, I had over 100 people in my address book that I wrote regularly. I would often send AND receive an upwards of 10 letters a day in the mail (this is SNAIL-MAIL)...and so as you can imagine, I constantly kept our post-man hopping! What fun that childhood hobby was...

Now I am a grown-up...living in our fast-paced modern world. I still love to write, but have traded the rusty tin mail box for the clean computerized e-mail box. With the speed and convenience of instant e-mail, I think some of the depth and sacredness of the hand-written pages and words have begun to fade from my life and memory...and I have moved on. Yet...it's just not the same. As a friend recently said, "Today due to the computer age and the Internet, Facebook, Twitter (and all the other host of social networks we have out there), we have MORE friends and contacts then ever before...but much more superficiality than ever before too!" And as I stop and think, I realize this is true. Ouch!! Is this what I wanted for my life?? Is this what I wanted for my friends?? It's a question I think we should all stop and ponder...and maybe we need to break out an old dusty notebook or find a piece of pretty stationary...and instead of sending an e-mail, write a real letter to someone dear reminding them how important they are in our lives...and that we aren't content with just staying in the superficial...

In fact, I think that's what I am gonna do WRITE NOW!!!!! :-) The e-mail they will probably delete, but a real letter...they could treasure this for years to come!

Satan's plan to keep us from Christ...

Satan called a world-wide meeting. The huge crowd hushed as he stepped up to speak. "We can't keep the Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't keep them from conservative values, but we can do something else." He paused. Everyone listened with batted breath...

"We can keep them from forming an intimate abiding experience in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken. So let them go to church, let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time so they can't gain that experience in Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do. Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining a vital connection through their day!"

"How shall we do this?" shouted the evil angels. "Simple!" Satan replied. "It's soooo simple. Keep them busy, busy, busy, busy....busy in the nonessentials of life and invent un-numbered schemes to occupy their minds." he paused as he looked over the assembly.

"Tempt them to spend and spend, then borrow and borrow. Keep them from their children. Convince the wives to go to work and the husbands to work six and seven days a week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can constantly struggle to keep up with the 'Jones' and live a fast paced sensory-overloaded lifestyle. Then tell them that they are doing it FOR their children. Hah! That one works well. As their family fragments, soon their homes won't offer an escape from the pressures of work, and they will grope for more and more things to fill their lives.

"Continue to overstimulate their minds so that they cannot hear the 'still small voice' that God speaks in. Entice them to play the radio or DVD player whenever they drive. Entice them to keep the TV, DVD's, MP3's, iPods, cell phones, text messages, computers, YouTubes, twitter's, Facebooks, music, game shows and noise constantly going in their homes. Do not let them rest from this day or night. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ.

"Fill their homes with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, sweepstakes, mail order catalogues, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free services, products, gimmicks and many other false hopes.

The evil angels smiled with glee. "Oh boy, this is gonna be fun!"

Satan continued. "Even in their recreation and time off, let them be excessive and consumed with the superficial. Have them return from their recreation at the theme park, the ball game, the mall, the concerts, the movies, the vacations on fancy cruises....or wherever they like to go, let them go, but make them come home exhausted, disquieted and unconnected with God, unprepared for another week. Don't let them go out and enjoy the simple things of nature. Make sure they stay in the fast lane, at amusement parks, sporting events, concerts, movies, or hanging out with others worshiping the idol of materialism at malls and shopping centers. Make them proud of their lifestyles, that are just different enough from the world to look "better" - but of course, we know "better is not the best." As long as they keep disillusioned that they are one step ahead of worldings...we still have them trapped.

"When they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk, so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotions. Don't let them encourage or uplift each other up. Keep those who are gifted encouragers, especially busy and worn out. Keep them like the 'Martha' of old, constantly rushing hurriedly about.

"Above all, when these so-called Christians get together, keep them from praying for one another. Let them be involved in soul winning. But crowd their lives with so many good causes that have no time to seek power from Christ. Make them proud of their accomplishments and boastful of their offerings and good deeds. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family unity for the good of the cause. And eventually, they will collapse, wither and die...and our mission will be accomplished."

The meeting was quite a gathering. And everyone talked excitedly about what they were going to do. Soon they set off eagerly to their assignments of trying to distract the world and keep the Christians too busy, busy, busy to know the Lord. Amazingly, they discovered...their task was easier than they expected!

*Original Author Unknown - I have added my personal touch by adding some relevant details and expanding a bit from the original. (Thanks to Pastor & Mrs. Page for bringing this allegory to my attention at our recent "ACTS for Christ" conference!)

Lessons from the Starfish...

Sunny and I found these beautiful creatures along one of the beaches here in Oregon. They were soooo beautiful to see up close. And they reminded me of a story I once heard:

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "I made a difference to that one!"

I love this story because it reminds me, that while sometimes we may not feel like we are making a very big difference in others lives...if we just keep working, one person at a time, we are making a difference. And to that person, it is all the difference in the world!

*Few stories have gained internet popularity the way "The Star Fish Thrower" has. Most often it's sighted as "author unknown," but it is actually a classic from 1979 written by Loren Eiseley.

Sunny days in Oregon...with my sister Sunny!

Boy have I been spoiled the last couple weeks! (Not that the Lee family doesn't spoil me - they do all the time!) But these last two weeks I had my own personal visitors....what a treat!

First my dear Season came (see "Fruit Maniac's" post below)...and incidentally, while she was here, it turned Spring! (Yes, Season comes and the season's go....) Then Sunny came....and the sunshine came out!!!! :-) It had been raining almost all week...and was originally forecast to rain the rest of the week when Sunny was to be here. But I knew Sunny wanted to see the Oregon Coast, and have some sunshine...and God answered our prayers!!!

How nice it has been to have my "little" Korean sister come to visit me here in beautiful Oregon! She actually came to record OYC for Audioverse...but since I'm here now...she came a couple days early so we could spend time together. So I showed her all around and we got to spend a good part of one day driving down the North part of the Oregon coast, walking on the beach...and enjoying the beautiful ferns and greenery of spring. It was heavenly and so peaceful! We even stopped and toured the Tillamook Cheese Factory! (What facinating experience for vegans, for sure! Ha ha! But hey, now I know how they make cheese...it's quite a process.)

Anyway...now...Season has gone...and so has the sunshine...it's raining again! But I don't care...I'm still "Singing in the rain" as one of my favorite line's goes...and I'll soon be off to Canada for "Acts for Christ" which is now only a few hours drive away.

Yes indeed...it is a blessing to be in the Northwest! And I look forward to sharing this experience with many others.

Fruit Maniacs...

We decided to have a special vespers at our place again this weekend! I'm still new here in this community and don't know lots of people, but it was still fun. While Jed (Obba) planned a great Bible study, I set to work planning a special delicious "Fruit-ah-licious" meal! One of my best friends, Season, was in town visiting, so we had a blast working together on food and catching up on life! Irene also helped a lot with putting it all together as well. As you can see...I love being creative...even with food! (ha ha!) And making these fruit pizzas was a blast. I haven't had a chance to be creative like this since Loma Linda days... hosting big groups. What fun!

Hope you enjoyed the pictures!! Don't get too hungry...

Think maybe Season and I should go into business together???? I think that would be fun to do, don't you??

Melody & Harmony - what's with my name?

Just this last week, one of my patients at the hospital was telling me I have a unique name: referring to "Melody." I laughed. "Awwww.....thank you!" I replied. "But if you knew my REAL name, you'd really think it was unique!" "Oh? What is that?" they asked curiously. I allowed for a pregnant pause and then replied with a half giggle - "Melodious Echo!" "Melodious WHAT?" they asked in shock. "Yep, bet you've never heard that name before, huh?" They looked at me with big eyes. "And that's your REAL name? Not just your nickname?" This time I had to laugh. "Yep, that's my REAL name!" I assured them...

It's funny...same story over and over again...and it's been this way for many years! While most people go "Wow!" when I share my name...and they usually don't forget it, still I've never had anyone (besides family) call me "Melodious" on a regular basis. Just too weird I guess...it's kinda funny.

Growing up...it wasn't funny though! I use to be sooooo embarrassed about it. In fact, my parents always told me that if I'd had a twin they would have named her "Harmony." Can you just imagine that?? A "Melodious Echo" and a "Harmonious Joy." Then again, I've often thought that if they'd had twins, they should have named me "Harmony" and her "Melody" because honestly, "Harmony" is much more fitting for me! I don't usually sing melody, I sing harmony! :-)

Ah well....I still don't have a twin...so I guess I just have to keep trying to sing "melody."

Anyway, in all seriousness....I don't mind anymore! And where did my name come from? I think my parents were just listening to the old tune, "In my heart there rings a Melody." And with a little creativity added....they had it - Melodious Echo!

Anyway, so much for "Melody Trivia" for today!

Inspiring Creation Thoughts...

Am excited to share with you the link for the powerful Creation series my older brother Jed shared at Advent HOPE in Loma Linda this past February. His three topics were:

Creator: Why did Jehovah Create?

Creation: How did Jehovah Create?

Created: What did Jehovah Create?

For some inspiring reminders of the incredible God we serve, please take a listen!! You will be very blessed, and also reminded that there's no reason we can believe in anything but the Creation story. Evolution just does not work!!! He not only shares some inspiring new Biblical insights that show the LOVE and CHARACTER of God....but He also shares facts and evidence of there being a "Creator" that we can truly build upon!

So.....if you haven't figured it out by now....I'm sooo excited to share this with you, and am recommending it highly! :-)

(Thanks again Obba, for sharing and inspiring all of us! It was such a blessing!!)

I desire "Himself" alone...

"If any man be in Christ, He is a new creature. Old things are passed away, behold all are become new." II Cor 5:17

This is profound and a real eye-opener...

Once it was the blessing, now it is the Lord.

Once it was the feeling, now it is His Word.

Once His gifts I wanted, now the Giver own.

Once I sought for healing, now Himself alone.

Once 'twas painful trying, now 'tis perfect trust.

Once a half salvation, now the uttermost.

Once 'twas ceaseless holding, now He holds me fast.

Once 'twas constant drifting, now my anchor's cast.

Once 'twas busy planning, now 'tis trustful prayer.

Once 'twas anxious caring, now He has the care.

Once 'twas what I wanted, now what Jesus says.

Once 'twas constant asking, now 'tis ceaseless praise.

Once it was my working, His it hence shall be.

Once I tried to use Him, now He uses me.

Once the power I wanted, now the Mighty One.

Once for self I labored, now for Him alone...

Wow - what a difference, huh??

This is written by the late Dr. A.B. Simpson, and found in the book "They found the Secret" by Edman.

Sharing some laughs from the medical world!

Over the last 6+ years now, that I've been a nurse, I've been writing down and collecting different "medical bloopers" that I've either personally seen, or heard from others. While these bloopers are funny, at the same time, it's sad...for they say that "medical professionals" are one of the last remaining groups of people in the professional world that most people still really TRUST!! We need to live up to that trust...but sadly, even in medicine...people make mistakes.

Anyway...putting all seriousness aside, enjoy the following charting notes. If you live in the world of medicine, you'll enjoy the laughs...if you don't well, just skip on past. :-)

Written Doctor's Orders (I observed myself!)

• Chest X-ray of the left Hip
• KUB of the right ankle
• EGD of the bladder
• Hem-occult test of the saliva

Sign over toilet at work (Just observed this last week)

• Toilet paper ONLY in toilet. Nothing else! ;-)

Other charting bloopers I've received, with my reaction following:

• The patient refused autopsy. (What - how can a dead patient refuse an autopsy!)
• The patient has no previous history of suicides. (Really??)
• Patient has left white blood cells at Parkridge hospital. (Oh my....)
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. (I'm sure I would too if I lay on my left side for a year...)
• On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. (The knee did or the pain??)
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. (So it seems...)
• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. (Looks like she needs to find another doctor!)
• Discharge status: Alive but without permission. (Oh boy!!)
• The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. (I didn't know they served "Anorexia" for lunch! LOL!)
• She is numb from her toes down. (Good thing it's not from "toes up!")
• While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. ("X-rated?" Oh boy, again!!)
• The skin was moist and dry. (Difficult to happen, but ok!)
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. (Come on folks, get it straight!)
• Patient was alert and unresponsive. (Again?? What are some people thinking?)
• Rectal examination revealed a abnormal size thyroid. (Ummmm....anyone know the location of the thyroid?? They probably meant hemorrhoid...but then again, who knows!)
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got divorced. (Yep, stress can constipate...too bad about the husband though!)
• I saw our patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. (Hmmmm....why did they leave them under the car?! Shouldn't they get them out of there?)
• The lab test revealed abnormal lover function. (Is there a test for this?? Ha ha!! No, it's suppose to be "liver" function!)
• Skin: Somewhat pale, but present! (Good thing...course, this could be a burn patient!)
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. (ROFL!)

Ok, those are a few of my favorites! Enough laughs for now...gotta get back to work!! :-)