Thanksgiving Thoughts...to LEAF you smiling!

Yep, I took this photo...many moons ago!

As the leaves of Autumn continue to fall, and THANKSGIVING has come once again, I am reminded of all I have to be thankful for.

As is our family tradition, after a scrumptious healthy "vegetarian" lunch (the Turkey's are happy here), we went around the circle and shared some of the things we are especially thankful for this year. Of course, we are only given a couple minutes to expound upon it all (and I could share much longer than that). Sooooo, I thought I'd take time to share a little more here on my blog. Hopefully this will bring and "Leaf you" with some smiles...

The following are some of the things I am most thankful to God for from this past year 2009! (In random order, not order of importance...)

• God's WORD (actually this IS in order of importance!!!) is one of the gifts I am most thankful for this year. I am thankful for the guidance, the direction, the encouragement, and the inspiration that I am constantly finding within its pages. "Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart." Jer 15:16 I'm thankful that we still have freedom to freely read these words and share them...I know that freedom will not last much longer.
• I'm thankful for the golden yellows and pinks of the early morning sunrise across our lake. And I'm reminded that it's because of the dust and atmospheric debris that we have such beautiful radiant colors. (It's a little more technical than that...but that's the gist!) And so it is in our own lives, the pain and sorrows and irritations can, when given to God, be used to make a beautiful picture of His love and mercy to be shared with all the world. "When He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10
• I'm thankful for my parents and brothers, and their love for me. I've lived away from home basically ever since I was 15, and yet every time I come back to visit or stay a little while, I am reminded again of what a great home I grew up in. I'll never forget sitting in daddy's lap, as an early teen, with 3 babies on top of me... all squirming and squiggling...and singing... "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam!" What great memories!! Now we all gather in our living room...my dad with the same "Happy Songs for Boys and Girls" books, my brother Daniel with his guitar, me at another guitar or at the piano, my mom with flute, and Homer with his grin...and we all sing away...just like old times...well, almost...ha ha!
• I'm thankful for the fragrance of flowers... I'm also thankful for the gift of "Forgiveness"...for it is "the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it." And this fragrance we have great need of in this sin filled broken world.
• I am thankful for "salt." Daddy made some apple pies today, and forgot to put in the salt...and the moment we tasted them, we knew something important was missing!!! Only 1/2 teaspoon...but that little lack made a BIG difference. Reminds me of how we are to be the "salt of the earth" (Matt 5:13) and add the "seasoning of Heaven" to all our interactions. If Christ is not at work in our hearts, then we will be like "salt without savour" and we will be just like those apple pies... "Man, something just ain't right here! Something is missing..." :-(
• I'm thankful for the kindness of strangers. This spring I spent several months on a travel nurse contract in a lonely town in TX, and during this time was blessed immeasurably by a church family that I had never met before. If only we all could be as kind to the strangers within our midst...
• I'm thankful for my girl-friends...the best friends that share my life and my heart!! Whether it's talking late into the night during a sleep over (yep, we still have those), or talking on the phone across the miles...I am soooo blessed to have such a great group of girl-friends. (Thanks Val, Season, Vanessa, Sunny, Sue, Heather, Becca, Rita, Cara, Joy, Mary and others!)
• I'm thankful for the warmth of a home-built fire...especially as I realize that there are many in our world who don't have such a luxury, let alone, a home to enjoy it in.
• I'm thankful for my new Fami-LEE...for the unique perspectives they have added to my life, for the ways they have encouraged and challenged me to grow in the Lord, and for the privilege of being "GoMo" (Auntie) to little TaeHo and HeeSunny. (God is in the business of "last-minute" encounters and "miracle moments." And we've had a few of those already.) Wonder how many more of such God-ordained encounters are waiting ahead for me...
• I'm thankful for old-fashion hand-written letters and cards that we still get from time to time in our mailbox. These are rare, but when they come, they are treasured and read over and over again. For some reason, e-mail and Internet communications just can't come close in value...or specialness.
• I'm thankful for the love and affection of my many little kiddos in Bangladesh. Even though it had been a year since I visited last, when I visited the Orphanage this past September, they all came running to meet me as if the Queen of England had come to visit. (Come to think of it, the Queen of England probably wouldn't have gotten such a warm welcome!)
• I'm thankful for the Hollands...and their continued contributions to my life. We've made a lot of great memories over the last 17+ years...and this year, we made some more...moving Tim and Sunny to Ohio...and waltzing through the streets of Phoenix in the scorching heat. "What would I do without you guys??? I love you sooooo much!!!"
• I'm thankful for music...and the ability to praise God in song. Right now my brother is playing his guitar and singing his heart out. I know that God is looking down with approval and love...
• I'm thankful for LIGHT and TRUTH. Light dispels the darkness, and the truth sets us free. "I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness." Jn 12:46 "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32
• I am thankful for ARME...and the passion of our team...as we seek to work together to help equip people how to REALLY STUDY the BIBLE for themselves!!! We had our first powerful conference this past summer, and look forward to several more this next year...
• I'm thankful for the "Set-Apart Life Discipleship Series" by Eric Ludy that has been one of the most spiritually impacting series of talks I have ever heard. I continue to be challenged by these messages and share them with as many friends as possible...
• I'm thankful for Pictures and Words...they say "A picture is worth a thousand words" so...between my pictures and my words...there have been a few hundred thousand I've shared just from this year alone!! I pray continually that both...my words and pictures...may be to the glory and honor of God!
• I'm thankful for MEMORIES...and especially those of Thanksgiving day over the years. But they haven't all been easy. Twelve years ago, on this very day, a good friend (Debbie Fox) died after a two year struggle with colon cancer. She was 25. Even though we all knew she was finally at peace, it was heartbreaking. Thanksgiving has never been quite the same since...and there's not a Thanksgiving that goes by that I don't remember her. Yet I thank God for the blessing and inspiration she was in my life, even thru her pain.
• I'm thankful for KEYS...the keys that allow me to lock and unlock my car door (especially when I am in California - ha), the "Keys of trust" that others give me...the key to their hearts (wow - what a treasure), the "Keys to truth" that God gives us in His Word (the ultimate gift)...and the list could go on. Keys are such privileged gifts to own...maybe I'll have to expound upon this further in another blog! :-)
• I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit...and for being privileged to often feel it's sweet wind upon my face. It's not something you can see, but you see its effects...in the gentle rustle of the leaves on the trees or the hearts close by. You see its subduing effects upon the lives around you, and you feel it softening your own heart. What a special gift... this unseen miracle that you cannot touch.
• Most of all...I'm thankful for the gift of LOVE...the love of my collective family, the love of my friends, and most importantly, the love of my God...who loved me soooooooo much that He sent His only Son to die for my sins!!! I'm told that, even if I'd been the only one that sinned, He would have still died...just for me! I will never cease to be amazed!!!!!

I'm sure I could go on and on...but for now...these are a few of my most favorite things, valued blessings, and gifts from God that I am most thankful for from this past year!!!!

We are encouraged:

"At these [holiday] seasons God's grace is brought before us in a special manner. We are bidden not only to recall the manifold blessings of the year, the rich gifts which Providence has so bounteously bestowed, but above all to remember the priceless gift of God's dear Son." ST, December 8, 1887

"Talk faith, live faith, cultivate love to God [and others]; evidence to the world all that Jesus is to you. Magnify His holy name. Tell of His goodness; talk of His mercy, and tell of His power." Our High Calling, chapter 14

I hope this post will "Leaf you smiling" and that you too, will take time to THANK GOD for all the blessings He has given YOU!

Steps to Christ...

Picture taken by teammate Eli Kim, during our recent trip to Bangladesh Sept '09

"To come near to Christ is to come near to one another..."

But how are we to do this?? Reading on...

"The secret of true unity in the church and family is not diplomacy, not management, not a superhuman effort to overcome difficulties, though there will be much of this to do...but UNION with CHRIST. Picture a large circle, from the edge of which are many lines all running to the center. The nearer these lines approach the center, the nearer they are to one another. Thus it is in the Christian life. The closer we come to Christ, the nearer we shall be to one another." AH p179

Ahhhh....so THIS is the secret. How come we as churches and we as families seem to do everything but this??? It's all about better communication techniques, better understanding, better ways of loving (all important for sure)...but we miss the most important, and that is Christ. We must be more closely united with Christ!!!

Recently I've been reading through the book Steps to Christ again. What a beautiful book it is, with so much practical gospel and encouragement for us today.

So far I've only gotten through the first few chapters titled: God's love for man, The sinner's need of Christ, Repentance, and Confession, and it only gets better as you go. But even in these first few chapters, there is so much convicting truth.

Let me share a few quotes that have really encouraged me, or helped me share with others more effectively. They are powerful...

• "God is love" is written upon every opening bud, upon every spire of springing grass. The lovely birds making the air vocal with their happy songs, the delicately tinted flowers in their perfection perfuming the air, the lofty trees of the forest with their rich foliage of living green, all testify to the tender, fatherly care of our God, and to His desire to make His children happy. pg 10
• The father loves us, not because of the great propitiation (death of His Son), but He provided the propitiation because He loves us... pg 13 [Wow!]
• Jesus did not suppress one word of truth, but He uttered it always in love...pg 12
• It is impossible for us of ourselves to escape from the pit of sin in which we have sunken. Our hearts are evil, and we cannot change them...There must be a power working from within, a new life from above, before men can be changed from sin to holiness. The power is Christ...pg 18
• Christ is the source of every right impulse. He is the only one that can implant in the heart enmity against sin. Every desire for truth and purity, even conviction of our own sinfulness is an evidence that His spirit is moving upon our hearts. pg 26
• If you see your sinfulness, do not wait to make yourself better. How many there are who think they are not good enough to come to Christ. Do you expect to become better through your own efforts?? We must come to Christ [now] and just as we are... pg 31 (I am reminded of "But God commendeth His love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Rom 5:8)
• Beware of procrastination. Do not put off the work of forsaking your sins, and seeking purity of heart through Jesus. Do not make the faults of others an excuse for your own neglect of duty. The Lord has not given us an erring human pattern. [No...we can look only to] the spotless Son of God as our example...pg 32
• Sin, however small it may be esteemed, can be indulged in only at the peril of infinite loss. What we do not overcome, will overcome us, and work out our destruction. pg 33
• As you see the enormity of sin, as you see yourself as you really are, do not give up in despair. It was sinners that Christ came to save...Christ died that we might be forgiven. The merits of His sacrifice are sufficient to present to the Father in our behalf. Those to whom He has forgiven most will stand nearest to His throne and praise Him for His great love and infinite sacrifice. [Yes] it is when we most fully comprehend the love of God that we best realize the sinfulness of [our] sin. pg 35

Wow... "Lord help me!" is all I can say, for my sins are great.

"Search me oh God and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalms 139:23,24

But I can praise Him too...for He hath made a way!

"For the wages of sin is death, but the GIFT of GOD is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord." Rom 6:23

My Life is like a Tapestry...

My life is like a weaving
between my God and me.
I do not choose the colors
He works steadily.

Sometimes He weaves sorrow
and I in foolish pride
forget He sees the upper,
and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent
and the shuttle cease to fly
will God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why

The dark threads are as needful
in the skillful weaver's hand
as the threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares;

Nothing this truth can dim.

He gives the very best to those

Who leave the choice to Him!

Love letters...

Usually...when you think of "love letters" you think of boyfriend girlfriend interaction, or even husband and wife. But as I have learned, it doesn't always have to be that way. In fact, some of the most beautiful "love letters" I believe, can be between family members (brothers/sisters or parents/child), close friends...and even between you and God.

I could expound upon all of the above...[family/friends/God] for I have been blessed with soooo many beautiful "love letters" from each of these groups over the years. But right now, I want to expound upon that of FAMILY...

From my earliest years I remember my dad writing love letters to my mom. Because of my dad's forestry work, which took him away from us for months at a time, he and mom learned how to communicate and keep their love alive and vibrant...even across the miles. He would send her post-cards of where he was working, write her letters of love and encouragement and have someone hide them where she would find them. He'd press her flowers in his cards, or cut out something special to send her. I especially remember the time he picked her a bouquet of flowers, dried them, and wrapped them up in an empty "plastic water jug" so they wouldn't get crushed...then mailed them home to her. (As I remember, they were an interesting site to behold when they finally arrived...but none the less...the gesture of love spoke volumes to my mom's heart!) Many of these remembrances only had small snatches of news, or this and that...but they always had words of love and encouragement...words reminding her that SHE was the best!!

But dad's love letters didn't stop with mom...He wrote them to both my grandmas too...and even to me. Always encouraging, always affirming and always pointing to Christ.

Well...the years went by, and I grew up...but during my growing up years, mom and dad added two more members to our family...two little boys. Now these boys were many years younger than I...and while I loved them dearly...they couldn't really relate to where I was. They were too young. They were just my "baby brothers." But time went on...and slowly these little boys became "little men"...and as they began to read and write, daddy taught them the same habits he had been practicing for years. Each week, when they were away, he would have them write letters to all of us girls back home...to mom, to their grandmas, and to me...wherever I happened to be in the world at the time. I still remember some of those first letters, and how special they were.

Slowly my brothers and I connected more and more...slowly our friendship grew. When Homer was 13...I was struggling with finances in my own young-adult world and had come to work with my dad for a bit. Homer made $1,000 that spring working with us, then to my shock, he turned around and gave the money to me... to help with my college and bills. I was humbled to tears. Daniel did the same... and as the boys got older, I felt them become more and more protective and caring towards me. Constantly watching out for me... building and affirming me, writing me letters when they were away... and sharing their hearts and lives.

We are all adults now...my brothers in their early twenties (that makes me "how old"? Ummm...we wont calculate), but as they have gotten older, we have gone from being siblings to best friends. And this has become the habit of their lives now...for they have continued to write their "love letters" to their mom, their grandma's...and to their big Sis (that's me) wherever I've been around the world.

This fall I've taken some time out to come home...and once again, have enjoyed the time to connect and share...more on a daily basis. And I've realized afresh, how much of their love I have taken for granted over the years. I was there when my brothers took their first baby steps...over 20 years ago...now I get to watch them take the big steps into man-hood. I get to be here by their side through their struggles, through their pain, and through their joys. And even still, I benefit from their protective tenderness and love.

Just this last week my brother Daniel went with my mom on a business trip to TN. And what did I find sweetly tucked inside my computer after he left??...but a sweet little "love note." It wasn't really different than any of the others...just as sweet, just as loving, just as affirming...yet...somehow it made me stop and think in a new way...about the power of our words, the power of our love, the power of encouragement. It made me stop and think of the many "love letters" that God has given me over the years.

Sometimes I am tempted to complain...sometimes I am tempted to cry...sometimes as a "single" I feel alone. But then God sweetly tenderly reminds me...with my family's "love letters" and with His "love letters" in His Word. I am not alone...I am very loved.

Wow!!! What a privilege...what a joy. How did I get to be soooo blessed??

Before I end this posting...I have to share a different kind of "love letter" that has profoundly impacted my life. If it weren't for this "love letter" there would be no others...It goes like this:

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Reprinted with permission from: www.fathersloveletter.com

Leaves of Autumn

Once again I am back in the Ozarks to enjoy fall in all it's glory...and what a beautiful season it has been. Bright orange and red leaves, beautiful waterfalls, refreshing sunshine, sacred fellowship, and for good measure, lots of fresh juicy apples which we've been turning into apple-sauce. It truly doesn't get much better than that...

However with fall, there comes a bit of sadness too...for after the leaves have displayed their glory and splendor, they must fall to the ground leaving the the tree branches bare and unsightly. I hate it when all the leaves fall off...makes my heart broken, and yearning for spring when new life will spring forth and appear.

But as I ponder the cycle of the season's and God's plan in our lives, I realize that even though we relish the beauty of Spring and Summer...there would be no spring and summer if some leaves did not fall in the autumn. For as they die and nourish the ground, new life can spring forth. And it is only after the long hard winter that the true beauty of the Spring can truly be seen.

As I've been enjoying the last few beautiful days of fall, I've also been reminded in a new way, that even as the leaves fall off and die, there is a spiritual lesson true for me. I must die daily, yielding myself, my heart and my desires, my will and my way, and be buried in death (death to self and to all that gets in the way of the spiritual life that God is seeking to build)...all this must happen before I can truly live and enjoy the treasures of Spring.

I am reminded of the verses in John 12:24-25 which say:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal."

So while it saddens me to see the leaves fall, I know it is in God's best plan and will, and that because of this time of death, new life is sure to spring forth!

"For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it?" Rom 8:24,25

Lessons from Weeds...

Even the ugly things of nature can teach us beautiful lessons about God and our growth with him. I was pondering one such simple lesson this past week.

Being a beautiful October day...I set outside looking for some productive activities to do that would help a local fami-Lee. The breeze was refreshing, just right in fact, it had just stopped raining and the sun was now playing hide and seek behind the clouds.

I worked on one project for a bit...but then needed to wait for more supervision, so had to stop. So then, I turned to the weeds. Here and there, in between the cracks of concrete in the drive, some daring little weeds were just beginning to push their heads to the sun. I felt sorry to uproot their progress, but they had unfortunately chosen to bed down in the wrong location...no doubt influenced by their friends. (Doesn't pay to hang with the wrong crowd!) So I set to work pulling them up. These came out quite effortlessly and with ease.

However, there were other weeds that had been around a while and were already well rooted. And they were NOT about to give up their place of establishment easily...I could just hear them taunting me "We've been here awhile, and we aren't moving! Go try working somewhere else!" Even though I pushed and pulled and dug and prodded...they did not want to come out. When I did finally get them out, they still left some of their roots behind...and since their roots were stuck in between the cracks of concrete, it was hard to get to the bottom of things. Uggghhhh....if only these had been pulled sooner.

And so my time went...back and forth...easily plucking the baby weeds, and fighting with the older ones. And it made me stop and think...

You know, our bad habits and wrong choices work a lot like these weeds. Initially, if we do something wrong and are convicted by God to change, we can quickly root out the evil tendencies. But, if we ignore the convictions of the Holy Spirit and allow things to grow...they get stronger...and pretty soon they are sooo strong it is VERY HARD to uproot them. Oh, it's still possible - with God, ALL things are possible!!! But just imagine how much easier it would be to keep a clean heart (free of weeds and other debris) if, as soon as we noticed a weed (bad behavior, attitude, habit or action), we'd go and viciously rip it up and give it to God. "There, over and done with!!" Isn't that the way it is suppose to be??

Yes, weeds may be ugly little creatures...but even through them...God wants to teach us how to better live for Him.

Considering the above, I found the following quotes really convicting:

"It is My Father's good pleasure," Christ says to His disciples, "that ye bear much fruit." But you can not bear much fruit unless you take out of your lives the weeds of selfishness and sin. We do not ask what your past life may have been. We ask you to take out of your hearts, now, the weeds of evil, and let the word of truth dwell in you richly, that your lives may produce the fruits of righteousness and holiness. If you will do this, you will see in the kingdom of God the result of what you have learned on this school farm. Pull up the weeds of evil in your hearts, and plant the seeds of truth. {GH, June 1, 1904 par. 10}

"And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up, and choked them." "He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful." Matt 13:7,22

Here is represented the controversy between satanic agencies and the Prince of Life. Which will obtain the supremacy? Which will become possessor of the soul? If the truth impressed upon human hearts is carefully cherished, and the weeds are uprooted, there will be a precious crop of grain. But the gospel seed often drops among thorns and noxious weed; and if there is not a moral transformation in the human heart; if old habits and practises and the former life of sin are not left behind; if the attributes of Satan are not expelled from the soul, the wheat crop will be stunted. The thorns of sin will grow in any soil. They need no cultivation. But grace must be carefully cultivated." {RH, October 3, 1899 par. 2-3}

So my friends...I think we probably all could find a few weeds in our lives...maybe attitudes of "ungratefulness, impatience, selfishness, vanity, or vain glory..." Let's get on our knees and go find them, whatever they may be, and pull them NOW...quickly, before they get ANY bigger. God will help us!!

Moving again: The Broad or Narrow way...

Once again Melody has been packing...but this time, it's not to go on another mission trip or family vacation. No, it's time to uproot and find a new home base.

Yes, believe it or not, after almost 3 years since I moved to Southern California, I am finally leaving..."Whew - what a relief! Away from Sodom and Gomorra at last!" Ha ha!! (Of course, more truth is in that statement than jest! Even though I never really did anything in the city, I never was comfortable with being soooo close to LA and Hollywood. The whole place has just seemed kinda counter-productive to the spiritual journey God is calling us to take.)

But of course, besides being sooo close to the big lights and the big city, being in Southern CA has not been all bad. In fact, it's largely been rather good. I've made soooo many friends in Loma Linda and Advent HOPE and made so many awesome memories, I can't even count. So, while it's a relief to leave the valley, it's also very hard to uproot and say goodbye. In fact, as I packed, I got rather depressed. This move has made me realize just how much I seem to invest emotionally, mentally and physically into not just the people I meet, but also my places of residence.

Spare me a few moments to reminisce: My dear little home in Loma Linda has been such a cozy comfortable spot. In fact, since I've been living on my own, it's probably the largest and nicest place I've ever had...complete with my dream view of a snow-capped mountain peak.

From the first night Susy and I moved into it on our air-mattresses, we prayed and dedicated it to God. And since that time, I feel God has richly blessed. I painted some of the walls. I tore out the guest bathroom wallpaper and remodeled it with a wild exotic missions theme. (I got more compliments on that bathroom than any other room in the house too!!) I planted my first California garden there. Even if it was only the size of my back patio, I had tomatoes and peppers and squash and all sorts of goodies that contributed to our health and happiness during our first summer there. I planted ferns and rose-bushes that will probably be thriving till the next century, or till their new owner uproots them all! I've fought with ants, moles and set-up my first "miracle swing." And the list could go on. Even though I am packing up and leaving...I feel like I'm leaving part of "myself" behind...

Of course, beyond the physical love my little home has received, is the people that have occupied it's walls. In the course of my time at this location (2.5 years to be precise), we've had at least 10 girls call this place their home!! (Some for 3 months, others for 6-8 months, and others for more!) We've had dozens of people over for Sabbath pot-lucks, birthday parties, girl-friend parties, prayer sessions, Bible studies and more. It's been the girl's hang-out for many, the place where the guys could come get a yummy bite to eat, and a "home away from home" for more. And now, I have to say goodbye...I hate goodbyes.

My current roommates weren't too keen on me leaving actually (that's kinda nice), and have been coming up with all sorts of reasons to try to convince me to stay. Or, if I wasn't going to stay, to leave as much of my stuff as possible. I guess they really did like my pictures and decorations hogging up ALL the walls! (Laugh laugh smile smile - yep, one of my roommies even told me that it actually "comforts" her to see my stuff around, and makes her feel like I'm not far away! Whatever that is suppose to mean!?) At first I thought that was kinda cool...you know, them wanting me to leave stuff around. And so, I decided I wouldn't take all my pictures or decorations just yet, after all...if I leave a few things about, it also makes ME feel like it's still "my home" when I come to visit, and I still have my foot in the door. Yes, the warm feeling of security from "still belonging here" was wonderful. But then the thought hit me...I have this problem everywhere I go, and leaving my "foot in the door" does nothing for helping me move on. I need to let go, pack it up, and just go. I need to just take the PLUNGE!!!! Ouchhh..... sniff sniff.... "Ok, here goes..."

So I did it!!! All my mission pictures down...all my bulletin board mementos off the wall, all my keepsakes off the shelves...and as for the bathroom...well, let's just say they are going to have to completely redecorate the bathroom, because there's nothing there now! (I think I over-heard them say something about having a "theme contest" to see who could come up with a replacement theme!! So we'll have to check back and see what happened?) And yes, I still had stuff in the kitchen. I took that too! So...no more crying! I had to keep reminding myself, I don't pay rent here anymore. This isn't my home anymore. I am moving on!!!! It was kinda hard to do, but once I did it, it was liberating too...

As I drove away...headed to some Northern new destination and work place, my moving situation reminded me of what it's like for us spiritually as we prepare for Heaven. As we journey onward, we know that we are going to have to let go of more and more of this world and depend more and more upon Christ...yet we still keep holding on. We can't let those worldly treasures or worldly memories go it seems. "Maybe if I just keep a few, you know, so I still have my foot in the door...I can leave that way. But I still have the security of knowing, I can come back if I want." But how can we truly be ready to meet Jesus when He comes back, IF we still have our foot in the door....still holding on to our place in the world.

Or maybe there are those of us that are willing to pack it all up, but what we can't take we aren't going to let go of. We'll just store it away. In case we need it for a rainy day!! That's just as bad as leaving it all upon our walls or shelves. Even stored treasures, hopes, dreams or plans can tie us down and keep us from really growing and becoming who God has called us to be. We must prepare to meet our soon coming Lord...and this means, we must LET GO of the WORLD!!!!

There's a dream a women named Ellen White once had about the journey towards Heaven. It's called the "Narrow Way." Let me share it with you here:

"While at Battle Creek, Michigan, in August, 1868, I dreamed of being with a large body of people. A portion of this assembly started out prepared to journey. We had heavily loaded wagons. As we journeyed, the road seemed to ascend. On one side of this road was a deep precipice; on the other was a high, smooth, white wall. As we journeyed on, the road grew narrower and steeper. In some places it seemed so very narrow that we concluded that we could no longer travel with the loaded wagons. We then loosed them from the horses, took a portion of the luggage from the wagons and placed it upon the horses, and journeyed on horseback. As we progressed, the path still continued to grow narrow. We were obliged to press close to the wall, to save ourselves from falling off the narrow road down the steep precipice. As we did this, the luggage on the horses pressed against the wall, and caused us to sway toward the precipice. We feared that we should fall, and be dashed in pieces on the rocks. We then cut the luggage from the horses, and it fell over the precipice. We continued on horseback, greatly fearing, as we came to the narrower places in the road, that we should lose our balance and fall. At such times, a hand seemed to take the bridle, and guide us over the perilous way.

As the path grew more narrow, we decided that we could no longer go with safety on horseback, and we left the horses and went on foot, in single file, one following in the footsteps of another. At this point small cords were let down from the top of the pure white wall; these we eagerly grasped, to aid us in keeping our balance upon the path. As we traveled, the cord moved along with us. The path finally became so narrow that we concluded that we could travel more safely without our shoes; so we slipped them from our feet, and went on some distance without them. Soon it was decided that we could travel more safely without our stockings; these were removed, and we journeyed on with bare feet. We then thought of those who had not accustomed themselves to privations and hardships. Where were such now? They were not in the company. At every change, some were left behind, and those only remained who had accustomed themselves to endure hardships. The privations of the way only made these more eager to press on to the end. Our danger of falling from the pathway increased. We pressed close to the white wall, yet could not place our feet fully upon the path; for it was too narrow. We then suspended nearly our whole weight upon the cords, exclaiming: "We have hold from above! We have hold from above!" The same words were uttered by all the company in the narrow pathway.

As we heard the sounds of mirth and revelry that seemed to come from the abyss below, we shuddered. We heard the profane oath, the vulgar jest, and low, vile songs. We heard the war song and the dance song. We heard instrumental music, and loud laughter, mingled with cursing and cries of anguish and bitter wailing, and were more anxious than ever to keep upon the narrow, difficult pathway. Much of the time we were compelled to suspend our whole weight upon the cords, which increased in size as we progressed. I noticed that the beautiful white wall was stained with blood. It caused a feeling of regret to see the wall thus stained. This feeling, however, lasted but for a moment, as I soon thought that it was all as it should be. Those who are following after will know that others have passed the narrow, difficult way before them, and will conclude that if others were able to pursue their onward course, they can do the same. And as the blood shall be pressed from their aching feet, they will not faint with discouragement; but seeing the blood upon the wall, they will know that others have endured the same pain.

At length we came to a large chasm, at which our path ended. There was nothing now to guide the feet, nothing upon which to rest them. Our whole reliance must be upon the cords, which had increased in size, until they were as large as our bodies. Here we were for a time thrown into perplexity and distress. We inquired in fearful whispers, "To what is the cord attached?" My husband was just before me. Large drops of sweat were falling from his brow, the veins in his neck and temples were increased to double their usual size, and suppressed, agonizing groans came from his lips. The sweat was dropping from my face, and I felt such anguish as I had never felt before. A fearful struggle was before us. Should we fail here, all the difficulties of our journey had been experienced for nought.

Before us, on the other side of the chasm, was a beautiful field of green grass, about six inches high. I could not see the sun, but bright soft beams of light, resembling fine gold and silver, were resting upon this field. Nothing I had seen upon earth could compare in beauty and glory with this field. But could we succeed in reaching it? was the anxious inquiry. Should the cord break, we must perish. Again, in whispered anguish, the words were breathed, "What holds the cord?" For a moment we hesitated to venture. Then we exclaimed: "Our only hope is to trust wholly to the cord. It has been our dependence all the difficult way. It will not fail us now." Still we were hesitating and distressed. The words were then spoken: "God holds the cord. We need not fear." These words were then repeated by those behind us, accompanied with: "He will not fail us now. He has brought us thus far in safety."

My husband then swung himself over the fearful abyss into the beautiful field beyond. I immediately followed. And oh, what a sense of relief and gratitude to God we felt! I heard voices raised in triumphant praise to God. I was happy, perfectly happy.

I awoke, and found that from the anxiety I had experienced in passing over the difficult route, every nerve in my body seemed to be in a tremor. This dream needs no comment. It made such an impression upon my mind that probably every item in it will be vivid before me while my memory shall continue." By EG White, Christian Experience and Teachings, 1922

Wow - what a powerful dream, huh?? And to think, that she had this dream back in 1868. It certainly contains a powerful message for us today as we are even nearer to Jesus coming. Are we on the "Narrow Way" or have we chosen the wider more traveled path???

"Before you are two ways--the broad road of self-indulgence and the narrow path of self-sacrifice. Into the broad road you can take selfishness, pride, love of the world; but those who walk in the narrow way must lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset. Which road have you chosen--the road which leads to everlasting death, or the road which leads to glory and immortality? There never was a more solemn time in the history of the world than the time in which we are now living. Our eternal interests are at stake, and we should arouse to the importance of making our calling and election sure. We dare not risk our eternal interests on mere probabilities. We must be in earnest. What we are, what we are doing, what is to be our course of action in the future, are all questions of untold moment, and we cannot afford to be listless, indifferent, unconcerned. It becomes each one of us to inquire, "What is eternity to me?" Are our feet in the path that leads to heaven, or in the broad road that leads to perdition?" Our High Calling, page 8-9

So, as I've packed and am moving again...I am reminded...it's not the THINGS that really count...I can leave them behind. I'd rather make sure my life is cleansed from all that would keep me from God...and that I am safely in His care...on the Narrow Way!

HOPE for Bengali Orphans...and HOPE for me!

Well, after a 48 hour long Monday (in Bangladesh & Hong Kong...and then starting it over again once we crossed the International date line coming to LA), and hours and hours of uncomfortable travel on the airplane...I am back in the land of technology and modern convenience. Back in the land of prosperity and plenty. Whew!!!! And yet, although the world that I have returned to seems about the same...I am not the same. You cannot step into another culture or get a glimpse into the need of another's heart and stay the same.
Between visiting the destitute children of the slums, to the sweat and push of thousands of desperate bodies seeking medical care at our clinic in Madhupur, to the sweet scent of dozens of newly bathed Orphan children as they clamoured into our laps wanting a bedtime story at Bangla-Hope...I have once again seen both extremes of Bangladesh. The side of despair and the side of HOPE!! The side of caus and pain, and the side of what could be if ALL of us "Rich American Christians" (we are rich compared with them) truly went out of our own comfort zones to give and care. And once again, my heart has been touched...and challenged.
After spending a grueling challenging week at the medical clinic where, as I mentioned before, we saw over 3,000 patients, going to the Bangla-Hope Orphanage in Northern Bangladesh was a real vacation. I had visited last year and spent time with the children, so it was a joy to return and be welcomed with open arms and delighted squeals from all the little kiddos... "Melody!!!! Melody!!! Melody is here!!" And they all clamoured for hugs and kisses. Melony, my little girl who I want to adopt someday, was the first that came running into my arms. (She was the first that I met last year when I came too!) I was sooo happy, I couldn't help letting the tears flow as Melony snuggled close and they gave us their welcoming ceremony. (Of course, it was sooo hot, my tears just mixed with the sweat - so it wasn't very obvious I was crying!) The kids were also quick to accept and welcome Valerie, and right off Valerie began to love and reach out to them as well. (It was a real treat to share this experience with my best friend!)
Thankfully, with the help of generous donors, I was able to bring clothes and supplies for the Orphanage as well as a special toy for each child - a doll for the older girls, animals for the younger, light-up balls for the boys etc. Orphan kids very rarely can claim something of their very own, so it was a joy to see the delight in their eyes as we wrote THEIR name on THEIR very own toy! Here I am below with my girl Melony (on my right) and Kocolie (on my left) who is the first child the Waid's took into their orphanage!As to be expected, our remaining week in Bangladesh at the Orphanage went all too quickly. Each day we spent as much time as possible with the kids, telling them stories, playing with them on the playground, doing games and teaching them songs. We also spent time with the care-givers (who are mostly local Christian women who have no formal education.) I talked with them about the principals of raising and loving children (as outlined in "Child-Guidance" - after all, I am not really my own expert on the topic, though I like to pretend to be at times. Ha ha!!) Then Valerie did basic CPR education and had the women take turns resuscitating a toy doll. (That was kinda funny!!!) Of course, another great joy was to see my Bengali sister Shati, who has such an incredible heart of gold. She always takes such good care of us when we visit and cooks the best food ever. But not only does she serve just us....she's one of the most hard-working and unselfish of the team and the kids just love her to death. It's nice to see the touch that Shati has with them. The most difficult part of the whole trip was saying goodbye...I literally thought I (if not the kids) were going to get "dehydrated from crying." In fact, the kids started crying 2 days BEFORE we left when they heard our time was almost over. I felt soooo bad. In fact, it made me wonder if maybe coming and then leaving again did more damage then good...after all, so many of these kids have either lost or been abandoned by their own parents. But after talking with my good friend Litton (who works in the Administration at Bangla-Hope, but also spends as much time with the kids as he can), I was encouraged that even though our time was brief...it meant sooo much to the kids to know they were loved and cared for, and that they mattered to people on the other side of the world. "They always remember you in their hearts...and just like this time...they can look forward to when you come again! It gives them a reason to HOPE...knowing someone cares!" So...with hugs and tears, we once again said goodbye. But the children and Bangla-Hope staff, and the sacrificial dedication of the Waid's and all those that help sponsor the children of Bangla-Hope are not forgotten. And Valerie and I are determined to be more frugal in our own lives so that we can help the Orphanage with their many needs and expansion.Already they have almost 100 children (there were 69 last year when I visited), but they are running out of room (they need to build a second floor). They are building a medical clinic for the Hindu community right at their doorstep, but need medical workers to come and staff it. They do multiple trips to Dhaka (7hours away for staff or supplies) and yet all they have is a 4 seater Toyota truck that breaks down or has to be pushed to start every time you turn around. (They need a larger vehicle or van that can carry their staff and supplies.) They have a huge beautiful lawn, but must put all their money into upkeep and feeding the children rather than buying a lawn-mover...so they cut the grass all BY HAND. (Can you imagine?? Yes, they need a lawn mower!) They have a garden, but need more tools to work it. They have an office where they keep up with all the business of running an Orphanage plus taking care of almost 600 children in their community feeding school programs, but their office equipment is old and breaking down. (They need new up to speed equipment.) They already have many "feeding day-schools" around Bangladesh, but they need funds for more. (There are sooo many kids yet unreached!) And the list of needs just goes on and on!!!!!!
If only all of us, would truly reach out with the resources God has given us...we could do SOOO MUCH MORE...yet...we are comfortable; Comfortable in our spacious mansions (you should see what little space they have to live in those Orphan rooms - clean and tidy, but still some with 18 kids to a room), comfortable with our heaping tables of food (the kids are well fed...but they pretty much only eat rice and curry with sometimes some vegetables and a banana for snack!) We are comfortable with our nice car or the variety of ware that our ward-robe boasts. (These kids are clean and clothed, but rarely have clothes or toys of their own!) We are comfortable giving our 10% tithe and offering, comfortable doing Sabbath afternoon outreach, and comfortable sharing our lunch with a friend at work. But the Bengali missionaries that work for their people often live on less than $100 a month and barely get by, living in conditions that would make us stutter. Sacrifice...true sacrifice for the Orphan, the widow, the outcast... Who of us really knows what that is???? I'll be the first to say, "I don't!"

Valerie and I have been humbled and challenged...and convicted...in a deeper way to make priority to share the resources God has given us...with Bangla-Hope, but also with anyone that God brings us in need.

"Said the angel, 'Get ready, get ready, get ready. Ye will have to die a greater death to the world than ye have ever yet died.' I saw that there was a great work to do for them and but little time in which to do it." Early Writings, Page 64.

"By all that has given us advantage over another, be it education and retirement, nobility of character, Christian training, religious experience, we are in debt to those less favored, and so far as lies in our power, we are to minister unto them. If we are strong, we are to stay up the hands of the weak." Ministry of Healing 29

"Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me." Matt 19:21

*To donate to Bangla-HOPE or help sponsor a child, you can visit their website at: http://www.banglahope.org/ I am hoping to help them completely redo their website in the near future as it is in severe need of a face-lift, but for now, this is their contact info.