"In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Matt. 25:40
Several months ago, a friend called me in distress asking for prayer. His wife was 5 months pregnant and it seemed that she was about to miscarry. He asked if I would pray for a miracle. I prayed with he and his wife on the phone that day, and gave them promises of encouragement. It could have stopped right there, and I could have just continued on with my work, but I just really felt compelled to "carry the prayer burden" and keep praying until we saw God bring the victory. So I set my alarm and every hour through the day, I would stop and pray for them.
At this point, I had never prayed through the entire night alone. I've done it more times than I can count with friends, at our Bible prayer conferences, at different ministry events, church groups etc, but NEVER alone. At yet I had just recently been studying about Christ and how He often prayed all night on behalf of lost humanity.
Inspiration tells us:
"We must look to Christ; we must resist as He resisted; we must pray as He prayed; we must agonize as He agonized, if we would conquer as He conquered." That I May Know Him, p. 34
As I thought of these things, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. "Are you willing Melody, to sacrifice a night of sleep on behalf of this unborn child? Are you willing to pray thru the night for the least of these?"
Normally I would not have even considered this, and especially not alone, but suddenly I knew what God was asking me to do. When He speaks to my heart, it doesn't take long to be so convicted that I can do nothing else except obey.
That night as I prayed, God took me deeper into His heart of love for the "least of these" and He also showed me that I wasn't just praying for the life of this unborn child, I was praying for the many "unborn children, adults, and people" around the world who had never been "born again" and come to know Christ spiritually. As I thought of this, and realized the significance of the need for the many spiritually unborn, I wept and wept.
I am weak!! I would never have thought I could pray thru the night alone, just God and I, but it was a beautiful night of prayer, and God brought me through much stronger than I imagined possible! (The next day, after only resting for a couple hours, I began working again, continuing to stop every hour or so to pray. The amazing thing is that I wasn't hardly tired the entire day despite getting no sleep thru the night! God is so good! Surely "they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength!")
The battle was not won the next day though, nor the next, nor the next. While I only prayed thru that first night, I continued to fast and pray throughout the day for the next 5 days…even thru a ministry speaking engagement that I had, which meant I could not enjoy a very scrumptious meal that many others enjoyed, and probably as a result to many, I seemed very odd. (What is "love of food" and a little humiliation though, when you consider the price of a soul…one whom Christ has died to save? Am I willing to fast for them, for those that have not yet tasted the bread of life?)
As I continued praying for this unborn child (and the many that she represented spiritually), I was pretty convicted that, as I know God does NOT come to steal, kill or destroy (see John 10:10), that it was NOT His will to allow the life of the child to be taken. In my heart I just knew God would deliver. And throughout the entire week, mom and baby stayed stable. Things did not get worse. (And yet, God is God, so I can't claim to know all. I just was seeking to pray according to His character as revealed in His Word. For Biblical clarity on this topic, read the short handout "God's pain VERSUS the Enemy's torture.")
However, on the afternoon of the 5th day, my dear friend Kim joined me in prayer. She prayed that if the child might have deformities or complications, that God would do what was best for the child and parents as she knew they would be able to raise that child in heaven. She also prayed that God would give the parent's peace. While I was praying for a miracle, we both agreed that we wanted God's will.
That night the child died in the womb, labor was induced, and the child was still born.
God did give the parent's peace and strength as they walked through this heart break, and I was so thankful for that. In fact, the baby's father wrote me not long after:
"We cannot begin to thank you enough for standing with us in prayer and fasting for our daughter’s well being. Your prayers have been a tremendous source of inspiration and comfort to us during this trying ordeal. We do have God’s peace and have felt His presence throughout this testing hour. Following is a quote that has brought us a lot of comfort regarding the outcome.
"Above the distractions of the earth He sits enthroned; all things are open to His divine survey; and from His great and calm eternity He orders that which His providence sees best." Ministry of Healing, p. 417
I was so thankful they had peace, but I cried and cried in my own heart. With what looked like apparent loss and failure in prayer, I struggled with why God had impressed and allowed me to take this prayer burden if He wasn't intending to bring victory. I had seen the victory in my heart by faith…I saw that baby being born alive and healthy, I saw our prayers answered. So why did this victory NOT come to place in the physical natural realm? What was God doing in this situation for His glory??
In reply, although I still didn't understand what God was doing, I sensed His reply: "Do you know how much I weep when my unborn do not come to life? Do you understand the pain I bear? Even if you do not understand, will you weep with me?"
As a believer in the power of prayer, and in the power of the God of the Bible who has not changed, I began to pray that God would show me the deeper lessons I needed to learn thru this experience. I also prayed that the apparent loss of life this side of heaven would not be in vain.
The following weeks and months were not easy for me. I trusted God, I was willing to weep with Him, but I didn't understand. Of course, it wasn't my child I was crying for, but it was His and I knew He cared. So if He cared and if it's not in His nature to rob the cradle of new life, why hadn't He answered, counteracted the power of the enemy, and worked a miracle on our behalf…especially after all the agonizing prayers of the parents, and after my earnest prayers?
It wasn't until this last week (almost 3 months later) that I began to have more clarity on this "unanswered prayer."
As I was re-reading the life testimony of Reese Howells in the book Intercessor, I felt God telling me thru his story that sometimes initially although the victory is gained in Heaven, He allows the "prayed for miracle" to go to the altar so that there will be no self glory. Otherwise, we may think we are responsible for the miracle and we may rob God of what only can belong to Him. (We are not capable personally of carrying God's glory!)
Also throughout the Bible you see that the first fruits MUST go to the altar, and until God can trust us with the answers to our prayers, He may be slow in giving them. Our lives and our prayers must be for His glory, not our own. They must be for His purposes, not just our own!
Furthermore, while God is more powerful than the enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy, we must remember that we live in a world of sin, we are still in the midst of the great controversy, and even when we pray, we cannot always escape the effects of this sinful world. That's why this world is not our home. Heaven is our home. While the battle may look like it is lost here, ultimately, Christ has gained the victory in Heaven, and we must trust Him even when we don't understand, and someday we will see the answer to our prayers. In the meantime, we must not get discouraged. We must keep praying!!
Finally… after three months, God gave me the peace I was seeking. While that child was not allowed (for whatever providence of God) to be born to live in this world, I finally have peace about her loss. And her loss has not been in vain! In fact, I now feel stronger spiritually for having prayed for her…even though I won't get to meet her on this earth. When I finally get to meet her and hold her in heaven, with tears of joy in my eyes, I'm going to say, "thank you" to that little girl, for it's because of HER that I was convicted to really pray through the night, to weep even more on behalf of the least of these, and even to sacrifice sleep in order to pray on behalf of the spiritually unborn children of God.
"Thank you Lord, and to think that this is only the beginning of my journey…"
That night the child died in the womb, labor was induced, and the child was still born.
God did give the parent's peace and strength as they walked through this heart break, and I was so thankful for that. In fact, the baby's father wrote me not long after:
"We cannot begin to thank you enough for standing with us in prayer and fasting for our daughter’s well being. Your prayers have been a tremendous source of inspiration and comfort to us during this trying ordeal. We do have God’s peace and have felt His presence throughout this testing hour. Following is a quote that has brought us a lot of comfort regarding the outcome.
"Above the distractions of the earth He sits enthroned; all things are open to His divine survey; and from His great and calm eternity He orders that which His providence sees best." Ministry of Healing, p. 417
I was so thankful they had peace, but I cried and cried in my own heart. With what looked like apparent loss and failure in prayer, I struggled with why God had impressed and allowed me to take this prayer burden if He wasn't intending to bring victory. I had seen the victory in my heart by faith…I saw that baby being born alive and healthy, I saw our prayers answered. So why did this victory NOT come to place in the physical natural realm? What was God doing in this situation for His glory??
In reply, although I still didn't understand what God was doing, I sensed His reply: "Do you know how much I weep when my unborn do not come to life? Do you understand the pain I bear? Even if you do not understand, will you weep with me?"
As a believer in the power of prayer, and in the power of the God of the Bible who has not changed, I began to pray that God would show me the deeper lessons I needed to learn thru this experience. I also prayed that the apparent loss of life this side of heaven would not be in vain.
The following weeks and months were not easy for me. I trusted God, I was willing to weep with Him, but I didn't understand. Of course, it wasn't my child I was crying for, but it was His and I knew He cared. So if He cared and if it's not in His nature to rob the cradle of new life, why hadn't He answered, counteracted the power of the enemy, and worked a miracle on our behalf…especially after all the agonizing prayers of the parents, and after my earnest prayers?
It wasn't until this last week (almost 3 months later) that I began to have more clarity on this "unanswered prayer."
As I was re-reading the life testimony of Reese Howells in the book Intercessor, I felt God telling me thru his story that sometimes initially although the victory is gained in Heaven, He allows the "prayed for miracle" to go to the altar so that there will be no self glory. Otherwise, we may think we are responsible for the miracle and we may rob God of what only can belong to Him. (We are not capable personally of carrying God's glory!)
Also throughout the Bible you see that the first fruits MUST go to the altar, and until God can trust us with the answers to our prayers, He may be slow in giving them. Our lives and our prayers must be for His glory, not our own. They must be for His purposes, not just our own!
Furthermore, while God is more powerful than the enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy, we must remember that we live in a world of sin, we are still in the midst of the great controversy, and even when we pray, we cannot always escape the effects of this sinful world. That's why this world is not our home. Heaven is our home. While the battle may look like it is lost here, ultimately, Christ has gained the victory in Heaven, and we must trust Him even when we don't understand, and someday we will see the answer to our prayers. In the meantime, we must not get discouraged. We must keep praying!!
Finally… after three months, God gave me the peace I was seeking. While that child was not allowed (for whatever providence of God) to be born to live in this world, I finally have peace about her loss. And her loss has not been in vain! In fact, I now feel stronger spiritually for having prayed for her…even though I won't get to meet her on this earth. When I finally get to meet her and hold her in heaven, with tears of joy in my eyes, I'm going to say, "thank you" to that little girl, for it's because of HER that I was convicted to really pray through the night, to weep even more on behalf of the least of these, and even to sacrifice sleep in order to pray on behalf of the spiritually unborn children of God.
"Thank you Lord, and to think that this is only the beginning of my journey…"
1 comment:
Your story touched my heart... I want to have that experience. I am willing to join in the challenge.
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