Sometimes I wonder..."How come I was sooo blessed? Blessed to grow up in a country where freedom still reigned. Blessed to grow up in a home where love abounded. Blessed to never have to worry where my next meal would come. Blessed to be introduced early to a God that loved me and wanted to save me. How come I was soo blessed??"

Then sometimes I want to complain... "How come I was sooo cursed...? Cursed to love those that are free but do not choose to love me. (The irony of free choice...it can't be forced!!) Cursed to have loved ones that do not understand my family nor the God we seek to serve? (Of course most families suffer with this same agony as well!) Cursed by my table of plenty with fat stores that do not want to go away. (Is that God's curse or my intemperance?) Cursed to serve a God that doesn't always give me what I want...but often allows hardship, loss and pain. (Or maybe He's doesn't always give me what I want, but is seeking to build me and prepare me for something better?)

Hmmm....Blessings....Cursings....which are they??

I am reminded of the verse that we all know, but like to forget...

"It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes..." Ps 119:71

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

A devotional I was reading recently in "Streams in the Desert" again rings close to my heart.

"And Moses drew near unto the thick darkness..." Exodus 20:21

First of all I have to wonder, WHY would he draw NEAR unto the thick darkness?? Isn't that like a curse? A curse to be avoided at all cost? Shouldn't he try to get as far away from that darkness as possible?? But the words of one unknown yet very wise author go like this:

"Do not be afraid to enter the cloud that is settling down around your life. God is in it! The other side is radiant with His glory. Think it not strange considering the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you. But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings. When you seem loneliest and most forsaken, God is near. His is in the dark cloud...under the shrouding curtain of His pavilion, just like Moses, you will find God waiting for you."

Hast thou a cloud?
Something that is dark and full of dread;
A messenger of tempest overhead?
A something that is darkening the sky;
A something that is growing darker bye and bye;
A something that thou fear'st will burst at last;
A cloud that doth a deep long shadow cast?
God is in that cloud!

Hast thou a cloud?
A trial that is terrible to thee?
A black temptation threatening to see?
A loss of some dear one long thine own?
A mist, a veiling, bringing the unknown?
A mystery that unsubstantial seems:
A cloud between thee and sun's bright beams?
God cometh in that cloud.

Once, standing on a high peak in the Rocky Mountains, a man overlooked a terrible storm in the valley brewing below. Then, out of that storm flew the most beautiful eagle. The water droplets on his back glistened like diamonds in the sunlight. Had it not been for the storm below, the eagle would have remained in the valley.

Yes, more and more I realize, just as God is in the storms...He also brings us storms to draw us up out of the valley and closer to Him. If our hearts are surrendered to Him...He too can help us rise above the sorrows of life to soar with the eagles above!! But sometimes He has to allow the storms to bring us UP and out of the valley..."

Hmmm....maybe my biggest curses...my biggest complaints...are actually my biggest blessings! Maybe I need to walk into the cloud...and get out of the valley!

"And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them." Isa 42:16