Brokenness... Tip #3

Broken...That He may make me Whole!
(Tips for Keeping that Heavenly Love Vibrant)

The last couple post, I have started talking about our need for "Continuous Revival," and I've shared some of the powerful tips that God has taught me that help me live victoriously. (To read the first two tips/secrets, go back to my previous post!) As I continue this series, "Tips for Keeping that Heavenly Love Vibrant," I want to share about Tip #3 - It's simply - Brokenness. It's a strange secret, especially to those not spiritually minded. But it's one of the most beautiful secrets of all.

Discover with me the beauty of "brokenness:" Brokenness before my Maker and brokenness before my fellow man. How could brokenness be beautiful, many might ask? Well, with one look at our redeemer, we see the picture: The perfect sinless spotless Son of God lays broken in Gethsemane and broken on Calvary. He's broken for us...He's broken because of me!

"Reproach hath broken my heart." Ps 69:20 

"This is my body which is broken for YOU." I Cor 11:24
"But He was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement of our peace was upon Him and by His stripes, we are healed." Isa 53:5

To receive this "uncomprehendable-to-human-mind-magnificent" gift...we too must be broken: Broken from all self, broken from all self-sufficiency, broken from all attempts to earn our own way to salvation. As we see what He chose to do for us, what we could not do for our self, all pride will be gone...we are nothing apart from Him, and we will be broken.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, 

a broken and contrite heart!" Ps 51:17

"The Lord is nigh unto them of a broken heart and 

saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." Ps 34:18

"He healeth the broken in heart and bindeth up their wounds." Ps 147:3

"For thus saith the high and loft One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite heart and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones." Isa 57:15

Author of "Continuous Revival" Norman Grubb shares the following:

"We are not isolated units living in a vertical relationship with an isolated God; we are members of a human family also, with whom we live in horizontal relationships, and our obligations are two-way. We cannot say we are righteous before God through faith in Christ and continue to be unrighteous among men...Let me put it this way. We can liken a man to a house. It has a roof and walls. So also man in his fallen state has a roof on top of his sins, coming between him and God; and he also has walls up, between him and his neighbor. But at salvation, when broken at the cross, not only does the roof come off through faith in Christ, but the walls fall down flat, and man's true condition as a sinner-saved-by-grace is confessed before all men."

"Unfortunately," Norman continues, "the trouble soon begins again after conversion - and here lies the basic hindrance to continued revival. Continued revival is continued brokenness; but brokenness is two-way, and that means that walls must be kept down as well as roof off. But man's most deep-rooted and subtle sin is the subtle sin of pride: self-esteem and self respect. Though hardly realizing it, while we are careful to keep the roof off between ourselves and God through repentance and faith, we soon let those walls of respectability creep up again between ourselves and our brethren. We don't mind our brethren knowing about the success we have in our Christian living. If we win a soul, if we lead a Bible class, if we have a prayer answered, if we get good ideas from Scripture - we don't mind it they hear about these things, because we get a little reflected credit because of them. But where we fail, in those many, many areas of our daily lives - that is a different question! If God has to deal with us over our impatience or temper in the home, over dishonesty in our business, over coldness or some other sin, by no means do we easily bear testimony to our brethren of God's faithful and gracious dealings in such areas of failure. And we're slow to share these victories. Why? Because of pride."

As we see in scripture, Saul's repentance was insincere as he desired his sin be hidden from the people. (I Sam 15:30) However, the proof of David's sincerity before God is seen when he told the whole world of his sin in Psalms 51. Openness before man is genuine proof of sincerity before God, just as righteousness and love before man are genuine proofs of righteousness and love before God.

It's interesting and saddening to see that when Jesus was on trial, even some of the chief rulers believed on him. Check out the following verse; may it not be our story:

"Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue. For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God." John 12:42,43

I have to admit, I think I have all too often fit into the category of those above. I love the esteem and praise of men! Yes, I may be convicted upon a point of truth, or I may be convicted by a failure, but I certainly don't want anyone to know that I failed Him, that He had to chastise me and pick me up yet again.....and so I keep those protective walls around my heart. I battle the trials alone with God, and I celebrate the victories that He gives me in these personal areas alone.

Some may question: Does this "need for brokenness" mean it's ok if we have emotional sin-filled "barfing" sessions? (Ugh...I get a distaste in my mouth just thinking of the concept.) I'm certain that it does not. This is not about "emotional barfing." There is no beauty in sin or in the elaborate details of sin, the beauty is in the Savior. Others may disagree, but as a general rule, I believe we should only share when our sinful behavior has effected the body of Christ, when we are still struggling for victory and need prayer, when we see the need to help encourage another struggling brother that he's not the only one to walk this path and victory is possible, or to glorify our God in the victory we've experienced. But to deny the weakness of our flesh (in the past or present) and pretend that we are righteous (or that we have always lived righteous) when, in fact, we have not or we are not currently, is to live a lie.  James 5:16 says, "Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that ye may be healed."

Unfortunately, many stop with confession. They excuse the need to conquer their sin, or have Christ eradicate their sin...and it continues to plague them. Again and again, they share it with their brethren, thinking that their transparency is all that is needed to be right with God. But there is no excuse for sin. As the verse above implies, one of the most important reasons we confess some things publicly is to PRAY for one another that we may be HEALED! Christ has a high standard, we are called to be perfect even as He is perfect. (Matt 5:48) If we are living in a continual cycle of the same repeated sin, it is because sin dwells within us. (Rom 7:20) If we continue to live in the flesh controlled by sin, we will die...there's no "ands, ifs or buts" about it. (Rom 8:13) We must agonize after God until He gives us the victory. (Rom 7:24,25 & I Cor 15:57) And if we fall again, we confess our sin and seek for victory again. Our path must be continually upward, less and less of me and my besetting sin, and more and  more victory in Him.

Deep deep sigh...

Oh the pain of appearing weak before the brethren if we confess though...  Oh the battle we must wage against the enemy if we are to change. It is so much work. It's so much easier just to say "I'm sorry" and continue living... and continue sinning... and continue confessing... and continue living again.

This past ARME Bible Camp that we hosted in April was a difficult experience for me. Over that week, God showed me where I'd allowed a "breach" in my spiritual armor. It wasn't something that I could correct immediately, so although repentant in my heart, I was really struggling to "stand righteous" before my fellow man with the issue not being resolved. As director of programming and carrying a lot of weight and responsibility during the camp, I just felt more and more tension as the camp progressed. Finally one night things came to a head for me with God. I was to lead "united prayer" for the whole group of attendees the next morning....(we had 500+ in attendance that weekend) and it was a honor and huge responsibility. But I just didn't feel right doing it. I asked myself, "Until I get this worked out with God, until I get things in my heart in order, how can I stand before these people and lead prayer? I can't do it! I can't pretend that I'm worthy of this solemn task."

It was humiliating for me to admit to myself that I wasn't qualified to lead, and that there was a huge battle in my heart. (And obviously, none of us are "qualified" in and of ourselves! Only in Christ.) However, as a leader, it was an extra difficult struggle. I didn't want to appear weak to my teammates or my best friends that were in attendance. But I finally resigned myself, I would not stand up front again until the "struggle at hand" was resolved. (It consisted of making something right with a wronged entity and could not be done instantly.) I went to sleep that night with tears in my eyes and a broken heart.

However, God had other plans in mind for me. The next morning I set out to find another teammate to lead our morning united prayer time. (It was too late to make these arrangements the night before as I'd been out late talking to God about it all). However, that morning God stopped me dead in my tracks. "Melody...you need to lead the united prayer today. Do not get someone to replace you!!! YOU need to lead!! But you are not to lead it as the person you want everyone to see you as, "perfect-with-heart-spotless." You need to share that, though not worthy, you come to pray in need of a Savior...for that's where everyone is at...they need to come now, realizing that although everything may not be in line in their lives, that doesn't keep them from coming and praying. In fact, that's WHY they so desperately need to humble their hearts and accept the Savior's healing hand and cleansing blood.

To give a little background on how our ARME Bible Camps run....the whole theme and focus of each camp is revival: Revival in Bible study, revival in prayer, and revival as God's people in mission. Each camp we see the Holy Spirit poured out, but at each camp it happens in it's own unique way. Often times, the spiritual atmosphere will be high, and things continue as the week goes along. However, there has always been a distinct breaking point for the attendees, when collectively, it seems, everyone breaks into a new thresh-hold of surrender and seeking after God. A point when it seems that the Holy Spirit really begins to be poured out in greater measure. Often times we see this within the first couple days, after a powerful testimony from one of our speakers, after confessions and brokenness in morning prayer. However, sometimes it does not occur until the all-night prayer vigil. However at this camp, although already nearing the weekend, we still had not experienced that spiritual break thru. Our entire team felt the need, but the break-thru had not come yet. Something was missing.

Interestingly enough, the week before the camp, our prayer director, Martin, had written our team the following e-mail. As I trembled over what I felt God was asking me to do, I remembered his e-mail.

April 3, 2011

Dear ARME Teammates,

What I fear most is that the sin of pride in my heart (or in the heart of one of our team members) will hinder the outpouring of God's Spirit upon us at our next ARME Bible Camp at Cohutta.

Andrew Murray in his book Humility writes, "The danger of pride is greater and nearer than we think, and that especially at the time of our highest experiences.... Paul was in danger without knowing it: what Jesus did for him is written for our admonition, that we may know our danger and know our only safety."

Let's take the time to truly humble ourselves before the Lord. As we humble ourselves, let remember that just as our love for God means absolutely nothing if we have no love for our fellow man (1 John 4:20), the same goes for humility. Andrew Murray writes: "It is easy to think we humble ourselves before God: [but] humility towards men will be the only sufficient proof that our humility before God is real."  

Hmmm....sounds a lot like what Norman Grubb is talking about in being "broken." At the time I hadn't read Norman Grubb's book, "Continuous Revival," but the principle even then spoke to my heart. With trembling knees and tears streaming down my face, I knew I must go before the group that morning to lead united prayer. Not because I was worthy, but because just like them, I needed my Savior.

So I did. Never one to be nervous on the stage, I literally was shaking...I had hoped not many would attend, after all, it was 6am in the morning. But even though the "united prayer time" was optional, the house was full. I didn't pull any punches. With pounding heart, I told everyone that I had battled with God over whether I was going to lead "united prayer" that morning. I told them I hadn't wanted to do it, and I didn't feel right standing before them when there was an un-resolved "breach" in my heart. But God had impressed me to confess my fault before the brethren and to share from the brokenness of my own heart our utter need of a Savior. So I shared from my heart. I confessed what I was struggling with...not because it affected any of those present, but because I felt God was calling me to humble my hearts before them and share that I too, had need and could not stand (or kneel) apart from Him. Many in the audience had tears in their own eyes as I shared, but I was unaware as I pressed forward by the conviction of my need for cleansing, and that we all needed to come with greater surrender before His throne. "Those who would rather die than perform a wrong act are the only ones will be found faithful." I shared. "We must forget trying to appear righteous before each other, all our righteousness is as filthy rags. We must be righteous before God. We must put pride and self aside and come to our Savior to be clothed in His righteousness. And we must do it TODAY...we never know if tomorrow will be too late!"

As one of my favorite authors quotes...

"It is a lamentable fact that the erring heart is unwilling to be criticized, or to subject itself to humiliation by the confession of sin. Some see their faults, but thinking confession will detract from their dignity, they excuse their wrong, and shield themselves from the discipline that confession would give to the soul...but in passing out of the path of confession, they fail to be faithful examples to the people. They see the errors of others; but how can they have courage to give the advice, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed,” when they have failed to follow this instruction in their own lives? It is not agreeable; because it does not flatter their pride, but reproves and pains? Ministers and people, if saved at all, must be saved day by day, hour by hour. They must hunger and thirst for the righteousness of Christ, the illumination of the Holy Spirit." {FE 239.2}

"Away with this false dignity. Fall on the Rock and be broken, and Christ will give you the true and heavenly dignity. Let not pride, self-esteem, or self-righteousness keep anyone from confessing his sin, that he may claim the promise. “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13). Keep nothing back from God, and neglect not the confession of your faults to your brethren. “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed” (James 5:16). Many a sin is left unconfessed to confront the sinner in the day of final account; better far to confront your sins now, to confess them and put them away, while the atoning Sacrifice pleads in your behalf. Do not fail to learn the will of God on this subject. The health of your soul and the salvation of others depends upon the course you pursue in this matter. “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: casting all your care upon him: for he careth for you” (1 Peter 5:6, 7). The humble and broken heart can appreciate something of the love of God and the cross of Calvary. Ample will be the blessing experienced by him who meets the condition by which he may become a partaker of the favor of God." 

"We are to surrender our hearts to God, that He may renew and sanctify us, and fit us for His heavenly court. We are not to wait for some special time, but today we are to give ourselves to Him, refusing to be the servants of sin. Do you imagine you can leave off sin a little at a time? Oh, leave the accursed thing at once! Hate the things that Christ hates, love the things that Christ loves. Has He not by His death and suffering made provision for your cleansing from sin? When we begin to realize that we are sinners, and fall on the Rock to be broken, the everlasting arms are placed about us, and we are brought close to the heart of Jesus. Then we shall be charmed with His loveliness, and disgusted with our own righteousness. We need to come close to the foot of the cross. The more we humble ourselves there, the more exalted will God’s love appear."{1SM 326.2}

Wow...deep breath....

So, with tears in my eyes, but peace in my heart, I called my brothers and sisters forward to pray. And we prayed...we confessed our sins (those that were appropriate to be shared publicly) and we confessed in our hearts, and we re-committed together to make things right before God and with our brethren. What a beautiful time of prayer that was. I felt broken and pained that I'd had to share, and yet a deep peace filled my heart that I had done the right thing.

Right after I sat down, our morning devotional speaker got up. But a fellow teammate called me out of the meeting. "Melody, I have to talk to you right now. What you shared this morning is right where I'm at. I've been holding something in my heart, and yet professing to be surrendered....and God told me today, that was for me. One of the things in my heart was something I was holding against you. I'm so sorry," my sister confessed with tears in her eyes. I was shocked, I'd never seen her cry. But we cried together and hugged and God brought greater unity between us.

The rest of the day strangers kept coming up to me and telling me how my "public confession" had prompted them to make something right with God. One crusty older man with pony-tail going down his back approached me. He looked like a "biker, smoker, druggie" from years gone by. But he grabbed my arm as tears came to his eyes. "Melody! I've pushed God out for many years. I've felt like Christianity was a farce. It all just seemed like a circus or an act. But today as you shared and cried, this old crusty heart of mine began to break up, and for the first time in years God got through to me. Thank you for sharing." [Later this man came forward with the decision to choose Christ and be Baptized, and I wept from the sidelines.] The testimonies continued from this person or that. Some of my teammates told me, "That was the break thru we were waiting for...God's spirit is really being poured out now."And it seemed that their words were true. All of us were really searching our hearts, all of us were going deeper.

In retrospect, all I can say is, I'm ashamed at my own weakness and pride, but humbled and thankful that God broke through and was able to use that "broken experience of mine" to help many others. Pride continues to seek to rear it's ugly head in my heart...it is constantly fighting for supremacy in this area or that, constantly fighting to be acknowledged and coddled. And only when abiding in Christ am I able to be victorious and stomp it out. The battle continues. But I've learned a lot...and Christ is continuing to take me deeper...I'm more willing to be transparent, and more willing to share the daily victories that He gives me. I'm also realizing the significance of this second secret in the area of "Continuous Revival." Brokenness before God and before our fellow man is so key!

One of my favorite books, Steps to Christ, has this powerful quote:

"However trifling this or that wrong act may seem in the eyes of men, no sin is small in the sight of God. Man’s judgment is partial, imperfect, but God estimates all things as they really are. The drunkard is despised and is told that his sin will exclude him from heaven; while pride, selfishness, and covetousness too often go unrebuked. But these are sins that are especially offensive to God, for they are contrary to the benevolence of His character, to that unselfish love which is the very atmosphere of the unfallen universe. He who falls into some of the grosser sins may feel a sense of his shame and poverty and his need of the grace of Christ; but pride feels no need, and so it closes the heart against Christ and the infinite blessings He came to give." Steps to Christ, 30 (1892)

"Lord, please deliver us from our pride and make us broken vessels. Broken that you can make us whole, broken that you alone can fill us, broken that your strength may be made perfect in our weakness."

For those of you desiring to be challenged at a GREATER LEVEL, I encourage you to click on the following link, scroll to the bottom of our prayer page, and download the "BEAUTY of BROKENNESS"

It's something we often share with our camp attendees, and I often share in my prayer travels. And it's impacted many lives, including my own. Until we have a right conception of where we are, we have no right conception of our NEED of Him.

Something else that has really been a powerful tool in helping me draw closer to Him, is going through the CLEANING the INNER SANCTUARY by Leslie Ludy. This is a process and may take days to complete, but it will help you surrender areas of your life to God that you didn't even know you needed to surrender.

One last powerful quote:

"The reason that we carelessly indulge in sin is that we do not see Jesus. We would not lightly regard sin, did we appreciate the fact that sin wounds our Lord .... A right estimate of the character of God would enable us rightly to represent Him to the world. We are dependent upon Christ every moment; He is our source of supply. All our outside forms, prayers, fastings, and alms-giving cannot take the place of the inward work of the Spirit of God on the human heart. When one is fully emptied of self, when every false God is cast out of the soul, the vacuum is filled by the inflowing of the Spirit of Christ. Such a one has the faith that purifies the soul from defilement.... He is a branch of the True Vine, and bears rich clusters of fruit to the glory of God." Sons & Daughters of God, p. 290

So...I have now shared the first THREE Tips to "Keeping that Heavenly Love Vibrant." (To take Secret-Getaways, to Walk Today, and to be Broken Continually!) And with these tips applied, we can't help but experience Victorious Living and Continuous Revival!

"Not unto Him that is able to KEEP YOU FROM FALLING...and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy." Jude 24

Stay tuned for Tip #4 to come in a future blog post! ;-)

*To learn more about United Prayer and hear testimonies from ARME, please visit this LINK!