Sharing some laughs from the medical world!

Over the last 6+ years now, that I've been a nurse, I've been writing down and collecting different "medical bloopers" that I've either personally seen, or heard from others. While these bloopers are funny, at the same time, it's sad...for they say that "medical professionals" are one of the last remaining groups of people in the professional world that most people still really TRUST!! We need to live up to that trust...but sadly, even in medicine...people make mistakes.

Anyway...putting all seriousness aside, enjoy the following charting notes. If you live in the world of medicine, you'll enjoy the laughs...if you don't well, just skip on past. :-)

Written Doctor's Orders (I observed myself!)

• Chest X-ray of the left Hip
• KUB of the right ankle
• EGD of the bladder
• Hem-occult test of the saliva

Sign over toilet at work (Just observed this last week)

• Toilet paper ONLY in toilet. Nothing else! ;-)

Other charting bloopers I've received, with my reaction following:

• The patient refused autopsy. (What - how can a dead patient refuse an autopsy!)
• The patient has no previous history of suicides. (Really??)
• Patient has left white blood cells at Parkridge hospital. (Oh my....)
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. (I'm sure I would too if I lay on my left side for a year...)
• On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. (The knee did or the pain??)
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. (So it seems...)
• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. (Looks like she needs to find another doctor!)
• Discharge status: Alive but without permission. (Oh boy!!)
• The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. (I didn't know they served "Anorexia" for lunch! LOL!)
• She is numb from her toes down. (Good thing it's not from "toes up!")
• While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. ("X-rated?" Oh boy, again!!)
• The skin was moist and dry. (Difficult to happen, but ok!)
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. (Come on folks, get it straight!)
• Patient was alert and unresponsive. (Again?? What are some people thinking?)
• Rectal examination revealed a abnormal size thyroid. (Ummmm....anyone know the location of the thyroid?? They probably meant hemorrhoid...but then again, who knows!)
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got divorced. (Yep, stress can constipate...too bad about the husband though!)
• I saw our patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. (Hmmmm....why did they leave them under the car?! Shouldn't they get them out of there?)
• The lab test revealed abnormal lover function. (Is there a test for this?? Ha ha!! No, it's suppose to be "liver" function!)
• Skin: Somewhat pale, but present! (Good thing...course, this could be a burn patient!)
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. (ROFL!)

Ok, those are a few of my favorites! Enough laughs for now...gotta get back to work!! :-)